My Adult Opinion

Kayla absentmindedly clicked through a couple of dating services in her open browser window. It was her lunch hour and the company allowed workers who chose to eat at their workstation to use their computer for personal reasons. Kayla knew this was generous on their part because many companies were cracking down on computer use to check email, visit social networking sites and post in forums. She had always preferred to stay in at lunch time anyway because, if she went around to different shops, she'd end up spending money that she didn't have.

With still 30 minutes to her break, Kayla decided to send a quick email to her boyfriend. "EX-boyfriend," she reminded herself with that same jab in her heart. She and Tom had dated seriously since their first semester in college. "So long ago," she thought, as she thought back to that last night of passion they had shared. Kayla remembered thinking it was strange because Tom had always been a very casual lover. Not in terms of commitment, mind you. He had just preferred to keep things light. He would tickle Kayla and make her giggle at the most inopportune times. She would feign annoyance but, really, she found it cute. Then, at the end of that very passionate night, Kayla had expected Tom to get up, take his shower and come back to bed, as always. He hadn't.

Instead, Tom sat solemnly on the edge of the bed. "Kay," he said, using his preferred version of her name, "I need to tell you something." Gathering the sheet around her body, Kayla had sat up to face him. "What is it?" she'd asked. "I'm not sure how to say this, honey... but... I need to be away from this relationship for awhile." Kayla had been shocked. Then the tears came. "But... I don't understand... what did I do?" she whispered. "You didn't do anything, Kay. I don't know. I just need a change. I'm having a hard time finding work since I got laid off and I just feel frustrated. I've loved you for so long and I think I always will. I just feel a little stifled." Kayla had gotten so angry. She told him to look up a few dating services and maybe find the one night stands he was seeking. "Kay, I don't want a one-night stand and I don't want to go looking for dating services. I just need room to breathe." She told him to leave and assured him there would be lots of breathing room outside her locked door.

Now, as she sat at her desk clicking through the most popular online dating services, Kayla stopped. In a moment of awful realization, she knew she was still looking for Tom's picture. Trying to find him online and trying to get him to reply to her emails had been fruitless. He meant it when he said he needed to be away from her. It had taken her this long to fully understand that. Turning back to her monitor, tears filling her eyes, Kayla shut down her browser. She decided to take a short walk outside. It was time to get moving - in all aspects of her life.